It's almost a new year...

Wow! 2006 seems to have flown by and yet, so many exciting and not so many exciting things happened this year that I have to tell those of you worried about the new year to hang in there, even during your darkest hours, Jesus Christ is with you.



This year started off with two of my sons being sent to prison. One deserved to go but the other one didn't and it was very hard on me for awhile to accept that both were where God wanted them to be at the same time and equally in places where I knew I didn't have to worry about them eating or sleeping.



Our family had a great time in April at the Phoenix Nascar races camping out in the old 'Shaggin Wagin,' a 1980 Chevy RV we bought several years back that was painted with old hippie sayings and pictures. However, by the time November's race rolled around I had begun to change the paint scheme to more of a Nascar theme with black and white checkered door, drivers sayings, etc.



In August we finally made the decision to move to Washington (actually my husband did) after three years of discussing it and when he applied for his job, what happened next I just knew it was destined by God. His interview was over the telephone, he took his physical and medical and drug tests here in Phoenix and he was offered more per hour than we ever thought possible. They even gave him six weeks to be at the job.



Our home was placed on the market in October and I began packing and hubby began cleaning up the yard, planting the yard and getting rid of junk (I never realized how much junk we had accumulated). October 30th hubby left for Washington, but took the RV over to PIR so we could wait in line and I wouldn't have to drive it.



November 1st I went on what was supposed to be a 12 day vacation and has wound up being almost 2 months of recovery from a shattered ankle.

Our home sold in December and closed on the 15th and my hubby and a friend came from Seattle to pack and load the truck. We hired cleaners to clean up the inside. After 3,4 & 5 years of living and knowing no other home but ours as theirs, my grandchildren and I moved in with two dear friends that have taken care of me and them during my recovery.

The lawsuit with the other grandmother is still going on and my daughter-in-law has decided to finally file for divorce after an illegitmate pregnancy and miscarriage while my son has been in prison. Both are trying to gain custody of the grandchildren that my husband and I have basically raised since their birth. The same children the mother walked out on in October 2005 and never looked back. The same children the grandmother has never called, has never came by to visit.

2007 will have an exciting beginning:

I start back to work on January 2nd, though still on Percocet, the Dr. states I can go back to work.

On January 7th, my son who should never have gone to prison will come home & we will have a celebration.

Sometime in January we will close on our new home in Washington.

Here is wishing all your dreams come true and that you can always see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is so small it looks no bigger than the head of a pin.

God Bless You All in 2007!

Still not up to walking on my own!

Well, it has been a month and a half since I broke my ankle and I can't say I am exactly happy about my progress. I expected by now I would be up and at least walking on my own to some degree, but I am still using a walker and a wheelchair when I am extremely exhausted.

I went to see the Ortho today because my foot has been turning purple and almost black during the day and he told me it is something to expect with the fact I haven't been up on my feet for the past six weeks. Something about the blood pooling and my foot swelling. I asked him about all the pain and the fact I am still using Percocets and he said he will be concerned about my Percocet use if I am still asking for them in a year.

I guess an ankle break is tough, but one like mine is extremely difficult and he expects I am going to have pain and problems for at least the next few months. I am wondering if swimming might help strengthen the ankle?

Anyway I am back to work next Tuesday and I can honestly say I am looking forward to getting out of the house for a few hours or 12 hours. We will just need to see how the ankle holds up.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, the only thing that would have made mine any better would be to have my husband here with us, but friends made it as wonderful for use as they could.

Even my soon to be ex-daughter-in-law bought me a gift.

Check ya later!

I can't wait...

Well, tomorrow I see my medication P/A for an evaluation of my meds. She will determine if I can resume my Lyrica/Scalexan/Cymbalta since I am down to about 2 Percocets per day now.
I need to talk to her about my horrible anxiety attacks and mood swings and see what she wants to do about those.

Wednesday, if all goes well and the X-Rays show up positive, I should be able to get my cast off and get a removable boot on so I can shower a bit better and move around easier. He told me I will still have no weight bearing while going through intense physical therapy but anything has to be better than this cast I have on.

I want to be able to turn in the wheelchair, move around a bit easier and make it more bearable to transport me from place to place. I hate having all this gear to take with me and I hate even more that my foot looks like it is rotting in the cast.

My foot still turns blue periodically, it is still swelling badly in the cast and the spasms are still coming on, but I am learning to deal with those a bit easier.

My heart goes out to the wives and family members of our troops that are overseas or just out of sight during this holiday season. I remember as a military wife going through that loneliness and not thinking I would pull through, but I did it.

That seems a million years away on the days I cry for my husbands arms to hold me, how I pray to see his smile again. I know I would miss him even if I had both legs, but for now, not being able to take care of myself or the kids without help, I just miss him so very very much.

HOME AGAIN AT LAST!!

Home again at last! My husband flew home from Washington state Saturday afternoon and after not being able to see his face and touch it, hold him, hug him, see his beautiful smile for over a month, it was the most wonderful thing I have seen in awhile. Just to hold him helped me to be able to get rid of so much stress and anxiety.

Watching the babies see him as he came in the door and all of them clamoring for his attention and a place in his arms was so heart warming. They have missed him I believe even more than I have and I didn't think that was possible. They just love their PaPa so much and they do not like being away from him at all. All they talk about is going to Washington to stay with PaPa.

Little do they know, their mother and other grandmother are doing everything in their power to prevent that from happening. Not because they love these babies or care, but because they have no love in their own lives , so they don't know what it is to love these babies unconditionally. They don't know what it is to sit up with them when they are sick and watch them as they chase Ladybugs around the yard. All they care about is their own needs to make everyone around them unhappy.

On the other hand, PaPa is home until tomorrow, we will love him and he will spend time with them listening to stories about school and boo boo's and He will always be here for them.

Depression Sucks!

I feel at times that my life and emotions are tied to a spinner in a game. You know the type I am talking about...little piece of cardboard, plastic arrow attached to it and numerous challenges...go forward 3, jump backwards 2, go to dreamland, whatever.

Mine reads today emotionally stable, today emotional roller coaster, today calm/lunatic. I hate having depression and more, I wish I knew when to expect an emotional attack. One minute I am fine and the next I want to scream as loud as I can.

I can't take meds right now due to all the drugs I am taking for pain associated with my foot injury and people who call me and I am upset can't handle it they think I should be happy all the time.

Why?? Would you be happy if you couldn't bathe yourself or wash your own hair? Would you be happy if you couldn't get outside of your own home without help? If all the electric scooters at WalMart were taken by people who's only excuse for using one is they are to damn fat to walk and you are pushing yourself around in a wheelchair? If people sais they would come over to help and never showed up?

No, you would be a bit bummed, but take those things and give them to someone with depression and now the equation is a bit more up and down. You try to smile and hold it together however, without warning you are crying about something stupid.

Well, thanks for letter me rant!

I Pierced My Nose Today

Much like the quilts I make and send to people that are bits and pieces of material, my body is bits and pieces of who I am and my life.

I have a scar 3/4 ways around my chest from heart surgery I had 48 years ago at Deborah Heart Institute in Toms River, New Jersey. I was 2 years old at the time and I often wonder if the Dr. that performed my surgery is still alive, I would love to meet him and thank him for my life.

I have the scar of my knee from jumping into Lake Mead feet up after my parents just read the sign that said no jumping from the platforms.

I have a small scar on my leg from putting it up against a Harley exhaust right after my husband told me it was hot.

I have several tattoo's and one that was recently split in 1/2 when the surgeon put my ankle back together. There are times when it doesn't matter & that was one of those times. Save my leg, forget the tattoo.

I have my ear cartlidge pierced in one ear, 2 holes in each ear. I pierced my eye brow twice but both times I had problems, so let it go.

Today, right after I had my toenails painted hot pink to match my cast, I had my driver (Desi, I love ya for helping me do this) take me to the piercing salon and I had my nose pierced.

Odd for a 50 year old...but hey, I am a unique person!

11 More Days

Only 11 more days to pack my entire house up, stack it for going into the moving truck, sorting my sons belongings and sending to his friends and deciding what the kids and I will need over the next few months while we stay with friends.

Oy Vey! Staying with friends that love children but don't have any of their own, this is scary, but I know they will have patience and much love towards us all.

I just wished I knew how long I would be here, while my husband is in Washington. I have to have my cast removed, then physicial therapy, the boot and a determination if this is permanent of a temporary disability. Combining this last incident with Fibromyalgia and arthritis of my back, it remains to be seen if I will return to work.

Hubby will be home for a few days on the 9th to pack up the truck and head back to Washington. Prayerfully by then, the snowy weather will have gone and he and a friend have clear sailing all the way up there.

Anyway, it will be good to see him for just a few days, I miss him so much!

The Snow Witch!

The snow is falling in Key Port, WA and the proof is in this picture my friend sent to me along with a demand letter, asking me (the proclaimed snow witch) to stop sending cold wishes for snow his way. Me, I just giggled because I want someone to have the beauty of the season when I can't living in Arizona.

Actually, the snow witch moniker goes back many years when I vacationed in WA and wanted it to snow in February. My friends laughed at me, mocked me (HOW DARE THEY!!) and told me I was crazy. They even dared laugh at me when they came to the airport and told me no signs of snow.

AHHH, but the ever endearing snow witch had the last laugh when we paid for parking at SeaTac and got about three feet out of the airport and it began to snow and snow it did for 3 days straight. Now who was laughing?

Since that infamous vacation, whenever it snows in Keyport, my friends call me or Email and tell me to use my powers for good, not snow. It has been fun for all of us and I am looking forward to going back home soon, spending time with my husband sitting on the porch, drinking hot chocolate and watching for snowflakes.

In the meantime, I am still trapped in this cast with 25 more days to go until the cast comes off and the physical therapy starts.

Namaste!

Trapped in my own home!

I feel trapped and helpless this morning. I can't get outside my home with the walker & I have no ramps for the wheelchair or scooter and if I get out, I have no place to go, nothing to do and no way to get back in. I am beginning to have anxiety attacks over this. What happens if my house catches on fire? What happens if someone breaks in? I can't breath at times over these thoughts.

My neighbors have deserted me. Once willing to come over and help me each day to get the dog in and out of the house, they have quit coming over. Now, I am truly alone with no one. My husband doesn't understand, how can he, he has never been trapped. I have so much to do before I move out of my home, and I can't even do that. How can I pack boxes with one leg that I can't even stand on? I can't reach the door knobs, cabinets, sinks, etc. I am becoming fearful.

I open the front door to let in the light, air and any amount of human contact I can have even if it is just noises in the street at least I can feel I am having some human contact. My best friend is leaving Tuesday and then once again I will be really alone.

What ever happened to family? My grandparents were always there when my mom or my parents needed them. My mom was there for several weeks when my sister had a blood clot & yet they all tell me I can do this on my own.

WAKE UP FAMILY.....I can't do this on my own!! How much more do you expect me to do on my own? You who expect me to be there for you when you need it all the time, when you get older because you don't want to be in a home, you expect me to be there for you.

Well, this experience has shown me who cares and who doesn't and I will NOT be there for you, you have left me hurting, alone, scared & paying money for people just to take me to get milk.

I am hurt, I am sad and I am sooooo outa here!

PLEASE HELP ME FIND A HOME!!!

It is a beautiful fall morning here in Phoenix and I can smell the crisp in the air. However, as usual, come mid-morning it will be at least in the mid-80's...it is November people, please fix the thermostat to show accordingly. For all of you that like it like this...please help me realize my dream of moving to Washington where my loving husband is waiting for me with warm and loving arms.

Here is my dilemma!! I have narrowed (kind of) my choices to about 6 houses...4 I have seen the insides only from the internet and 2 don't show the insides at all. Soooo, I am asking those of you who read my blog to help me choose. Listed below you will find the links to these homes, please look at each and let me know your choice.

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=Listing.ListingDetail&ListingID=16979338

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=Listing.ListingDetail&ListingID=16968431

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=listing.listingDetail&ListingID=15737582

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=listing.listingDetail&ListingID=17016274

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=listing.listingDetail&ListingID=16954638

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=listing.listingDetail&ListingID=7345318

http://www.windermere.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=listing.listingDetail&ListingID=15639650

Please remember each one of these houses are unique in what they offer from beautiful views of the river to wonderful and warm wrap around porches. Each one of these homes takes you back in time to an era when life was simple and sweet.

Help me to choose, send your vote to this page and let me know and let me know why you feel the way you do.

God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving!

Girls Night

How many times over the past few years have I told friends we would get together soon and never have? Do you do the same thing? DON'T!! While my broken leg may not be life threatening is sure has been life changing. Leaning on people for help, rides, etc. Missing my husband as he started a new job has been incredible & yet, I am learning how I have needed to slow down for a very long time.

Last night 2 friends of mine came over to keep me company. One brought us dinner and desert and the other brought us a movie to watch & we visited and talked and I realized these things need to be done more often.

So while breaking my leg ultimately stinks, it has also been a blessing!

Phantom Pains??

I have often heard of people who loose limbs having phantom pains as if they still had the limb they had lost. Since my accident I have had some odd pains that I can't explain & have tried and usually succeeded in getting past.

Tonight however, my pain feels like an electrical burning on all sides of my ankle, my foot is having spasms that are causing my leg to violently shake & though I have taken 2 of my pain medications, this pain has brought me to full blown sobbing & having to call my best friend and ask them to talk to me so I can redirect my thoughts away from the pain.

About 15 minutes of conversation and I can now attempt to go back to bed and sleep. I tried to reach dear hubby, however his cell phone is off and he has told me the area where he is staying is having some problems with high winds and fallen trees. When you hurt that bad, you just want someone to listen and try to help you refocus.

Since I damaged my leg so badly, I am not sure if this pain if from severed nerves, tendons, broken bones or a combination of all things put together. All I know is it is the worst pain I have felt in a long time.

****************THANK YOU'S********************THANK YOU'S*******
This weeks many heartfelt thanks to my neighbors Bonnie & David for the driving me around, calling to ensure I am up getting my granddaughter ready for school, taking her to bus stop. To Kelly & Ed for coming over and helping me clean up and put away dinner messes, play with the kids & for keeping Shyann overnight so she doesn't have to get up so early. Tracy for her wonderful kindnesses of bringing me coffee & bagels, cleaning up my kitchen, picking up dog poop, watering all my trees and shrubs, running paperwork to the Dr.
To Desiree for coming over and cleaning, doing laundry, taken kids to Dr. & picking up things I need here and there.

While I will probably never know why this happened or why God allowed it to happen, I know I am in this position for a reason and I am doing the best I can to thank and praise Him for all my friends & all my blessings!

May your day be filled with peace.

Namaste!

Thinking on your feet!

I have always been an independent cuss, stubborn and loyal as the day is long, always saying yes to some project or helping someone out and so meticulous about mail, bills, etc. Well, all that changes last week with a wrenching twisting of my ankle, causing me to stay 4+ days in the hospital and come home with a walker & a wheelchair and I swear, an 80 pound temporary cast on my leg.

Oh joy, everyone is telling me if I think this one is heavy wait until the permanent one goes on!! I can't wait!!

I must say though, that I am finding joy in things I never thought I would like raised potty chairs, shower chairs, walkers with seats in them and the electric scooters in stores. I cried today when I walked into (oops, faux paus...was wheeled into ) the local lending closet and told I could take my pick of potty chairs. Now, I won't have to worry about getting up when I am done!

Then there are my friends. What can I say except without a doubt I have some of the most wonderful friends, co-workers and employers in the world! Seriously, I have a friend who comes over just to rub and warm my toes up when they get cold. Last week my dearest friend and her daughter showered me & today same daughter and friend drove to my home from over 30 miles away just to feed my dog.

Of course once they were here and saw I was preparing dinner, they took over, fed and walked the dog, put the kids in jama's, fixed their beds, gave me cold water and then went to the store and bought me a loave of bread.

While they were here another friend called to check on me & said she would be by tomorrow to do my laundry and bring boyfriend to do my floors.

At 8:00 sharp my neighbor came over, tucked the kids into bed, turned off my lights with the exception of a few I need, gave me my Percocet, covered me up, kissed my forehead and locked me in the house.

While I still am struggling with loosing total independence right now, I think I realize God wanted to show me how great my life can be when He slows me down to take a look and how awesome my support system is.

But, the biggest struggle is, I can't seem to think with one foot!! Going over bills, mail, homework, etc. all seems to be such a chore now and I guess I have gained new understand to the term 'thinking on your feet!'

Social Services???

Anyone who has ever had a loved one really ill in the hospital has run into social services, the people who are wonderful and knowledgable when it comes to arranging for home health care, beds, walkers, etc.

These are the people who let you know what your insurance covers so you can get help. But what happens when the social services become unsocial? Am I whining here or what? But I need to vent.

Thursday, 2:00 p.m., I am sleeping when this young lady comes into my room and awakens me and introduces herself as social services. She hands me a 2 page copied print out for lending closets and starts to walk away. Wait! I have 3 small grandchildren at home, I will need some help and a wheelchair, toilet seat, shower seat and a pull up bar. She looks at me like I fell off the planet Bonkers and says, 'you can walk, you don't qualify for a wheelchair, call the lending closet for the rest of the stuff.' Out she goes.

Well, she was right and wrong about some things...I didn't qualify for the toilet and shower seat, but with a note from my doc stating I can't put weight on my foot, I can get a wheelchair. Dr. writes the prescription, Walgreens wants to fill it but needs specific order I can't stand...finally, I pay for the chair myself and of course when social services states they will once again send the same chick to see me, tell them unless she wants a walker up side her head, keep her!

Perhaps it should be noted at this time, that my insurance would cover a wheelchair, a hospital bed and the pull-up bar. However, the social services department did not want to do their jobs and once I have this equipment, the hospital administration will be hearing from me.

Sucks to be sick people!

Shattered Ankle/Shattered Dreams

Blue seems to be the most appropriate color of ink to match my mood at 0100 CST living within 2 miles of the Phoenix International Raceway home of this week-ends NASCAR race and knowing I may just not make it!

You see, while my husband was settling in on a new job in another state Monday morning, I was proudly manuvering our RV into place for the wonderfully planned long week at the races. Everything was going perfect...I had dropped my oldest granddaughter off at the bus, picked up friends to help me move my RV & van and was doing a great job for never having driven something so large.

Well, as fate would have it for some reason, the people at PIR decided they wanted to make more room for more RV's and grated the area where we park, so now instead of solid pack dirt, we had loose sand and it was that sand that caused my week of horrors!

I parked the motor home, set up the awning, put out the chairs and stepped out the door. When I did, my left food gave a bit and as any person would do, I tried to catch myself and over correct myself with my right foot. It was like watching something in slow motion. My ankle bone protruded out the right side of my ankle, then back over to the left and finally settled in a weird angle on the left side.

Lets put it this way...my leg was facing north/south when I landed, however my foot was facing east/west with this huge bulge on it and all I could say was 'oh sh**, someone call 911 I just broke my foot.' I laid on the ground with someone holding me up so I wouldn't faint, someone else calling my name and keeping me focused so I wouldn't faint & all the time, all I wanted to do was pass out.

Kudo's to my pal Keith for sitting on the ground for over what had to be 30 minutes and holding my leg up so my ankle wouldn't snap through the skin...the only reason it didn't was due to Keiths determination that it wouldn't and he wasn't going to let the medics cut my sock off.

So, I spend a day and a half in the hospital waiting for my surgery, however the ER doc gave me some Versed and repositioned my ankle so they could splint it straight. I had blood drawn, XRays and an MRI and the MRI showed that I not only fractured my foot in three places, I fractured pieces of bone off of bone, broke it in one place so bad it had to be put back together like a jigsaw puzzle with pins, plate and screws and a bone graft.

The night nurse Andrea was wonderful...I can't say thank you enough to her for her compassion. She ensured each evening my bed had no wrinkles, propped up my leg and foot, brought me a snack and sleeping pill and kept ice on my cast. I rested well!

Dayshift was a crack up, but less compassionate. The 3rd day I was there, Michelle brought me a basin with water, soap, lotion, wash clothes 7 clean gown. While I took care of my personal needs, she made my bed while I sat in a chair. It ended there. I don't know where the communication break down occurred, but I was left sitting up for over 3 hours. While I could used the rest room on my own, I couldn't manuver well enough to get into bed. I called out for 45 minutes for help and was told each time someone was on their way (no one showed), I called the hospital operator and asked for physical therapy and left a nasty message, still no one responded.

Finally, my visiting physician came by and saw me crying and when I told her what had happened, I finally got assisted back to bed and medicated. Let me explain, I have osteo arthritis in my back so sitting for long periods is very painful. I also have a high pain threshold and rarely required medication. Once back in bed, I was medicated regularly the rest of the day for comfort.

That evening the CNA felt it was to hot in my room, so she cranked my heat to 65. It took a friend the next morning calling the nurses station before I got a blanket. And that day, while I moved all around my room and between the bed and chair with a walker, Physical Therapy was no where to help out or show me how to move around. My bed wasn't cleaned, I was left dirty, they refused to bathe me and medication was nil!! I finally used the walker to go to my room door and look down the hall.

There they were, a nurse and 2 physical therapists, sitting and standing around and horsing around until I yelled down the hall for help. What I got was...what is your problem & why are you coming down the hall to find me?? Better me ask why friends had to make my bed, bathe me and remain at the hospital for over 30 minutes to see I got pain medications.

I am home now! Neighbors are lovingly sitting with me and helping me out!

This Doesn't Feel Like Fun!

With a kiss and a hug and he's on his way, my husband began his two and a half day trip to our new home area of Grays Harbor County Washington today....leaving me, his 3 grandchildren a dog and several turtles behind to wait for the sale of our home.

I thought this was going to be easy, piece of cake, but if that is so, then why when I woke up within 15 minutes did I have tears racing to beat one another down my cheeks? Why do I feel this house is suddenly cold and quiet even with 2 small children laughing and playing?

I promised him I would be strong and keep my head held high and I am already feeling like I might fall down, but I have so much to do right now and after all, I am on vacation and that will keep me busy as a swarm of bee's!

There is painting to finish, a dresser than needs refinishing, quilts to catch up on, trees and yard to take care of land of course...NASCAR week will be here Monday and then we will all be out at the track watching the events and visiting with friends.

I miss him so much. My best friend, my soul mate, my strength. I love you baby, see you soon!

Attorneys Are NOT God!

Attorneys are NOT God, while most think they are somewhere right up there with God or higher, most are overpaid paper prostitutes that don't give a hooch about anything but themselves and the almighty dollar!

Sorry to insult any of you (no, I'm not really) because while there may be attorneys that are honest and hard working, most take your money, tell you how busy they are, never return your calls and then when you are in court, you are supposed to know what in blazes is going on with your case.

With the exception of businesses, people in the public eye, people needed wills and other daily necessities, what good is an attorney? Most courts are going to 'do it yourself service,' so if you can read and follow instructions, you are just as good as the attorney you are going to spend huge dollars on. Even the legal aid attorneys in Phoenix offer classes so you can learn how to do it yourself for divorce, wills, etc. That should speak volumes to everyone.

Then you have the arrogant ones who are walking around in their expensive suits and cheap shoes or cheap suits and expensive shoes who do nothing but collect your money & pay their legal assistants as cheaply as possible and they are the ones doing most of the work. And why are people intimidated by attorneys? They put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us, they must breathe or they will die like the rest of us, they must eat like the rest of us, so why let these people intimidate us?

There are some very good and honest attorneys out in this world, but most of them aren't any better than me or you and the only difference is why I have my Masters in one field, they have a degree in law.

***********ATTORNEYS MAKE MATTERS MORE COMPLICATED***********************

Thats right, if you want to draw something out for a longer period of time, want to spend your hard earned money & want to complicate your life, hire an attorney. They will do all they can to take your money and make your life more miserable, because after all, that is what you pay them for!!

I have had 3 grandchildren living with me basically since birth. I have had legal custody of 3 of them for over 2 years and not any help from the other grandmother on a regular or for that matter irregular basis. Rare basis perhaps but that is it.

Now that my home is on the market, my husband is leaving state for a new job, this other grandmother wants to be involved and keep me here, so she hired an attorney as opposed to sitting down and talking with me as I requested.

Thanks for reading, just sounding off.

Child Custody Battle

Would someone care to tell me why people who don't care enough about their own blood, would fight to gain custody of them or prevent another parent/grandparent for giving the children a better life?
Face it people, be honest with yourself here. If you don't see these kids unless it is on your own birthday or theirs, you never call them, you don't help support them, why fight for them when all of a sudden they will be moved to another state?
Can someone fill me in on this?

Depression Sucks!

If you aren't one of the millions of people suffering from depression or someone that is depressed or works with those of us who are, you might want to skip this post.

I suffer from depression & anxiety and what is now being termed as a 'mood disorder.' What does that mean exactly? It means at 50 years old I am on medication that while it helps with the depression and anxiety, sinks me deeper into the pits because I am just blah!

I can't explain it, but I feel that the joy has been sucked out of my life by the medication they have me on. I don't laugh as much as I used to before medication. I have put on 12 unbearable pounds since medication. I sleep a lot which when you work night shifts you are supposed to sleep. I spend more time seeing Drs. than I ever wanted to in my life. I am taking more meds than I ever wanted.

My husband who is the love of my life, my soulmate, my world takes the brunt of my depression and tells me he doesn't notice any changes, but how can he not? I don't or rarely cook anymore (leaving him to fend for himself and 3 children). I am cynical most of the time, I don't want to do anything but what I want to do. It is the most horrible thing I have ever felt!

Any comments?

NASCAR AT PHOENIX MOTORHOME FOR SALE!

UNIQUE AND FUN MOTORHOME FOR SALE...IN TIME FOR THE PHOENIX RACE IN NOVEMBER...DON'T MISS OUT!

This 1981 Class C Jamee has been the talk in the non-paved campground for several race seasons now and if you've been out to Phoenix International Raceway camping in the dirt & taken a shower, you have passed its way once or twice.

Perhaps like many you have made the often times comments to others like: 'I bet this is one of those things they leave here race after race.' Let me assure you, it isn't! This motorhome goes home with us and is well taken care of and cleaned after each trip to the track or the lake.

Maybe you are one of the people who have passed by and looking at our unique paint job have told your kids: 'Stay away from those people, they are one drugs!'
We aren't. We are hard working class folks like the rest of the fans, raising 3 grandchildren, enjoying friends and relaxation and talking NASCAR.

Are you one of the surprised ones that has asked to and been invited into our little home away from home? Weren't you glad you didn't judge us by our unique and fun paint job? Were you amazed at how clean and nice the interior is?

If you haven't had the opportunity to peek around, let me talk you through a tour:
Upon entering the checkered flag door and lexan protected screen door (placed so kids and pets can't tear it). The first thing you notice is the Petty Avenue plaque, Kyle, Richard and Andretti photo on the wall and then papa's fishing plaque. Sorry, no 60's signs of peace and love!

Looking forward, you notice the brightly painted yellow kitchen with it's fishing decals that really make it cheery and the nice window over the kitchen sink. That's right, there is a stainless steel double sink with lots of storage under the sink and working oven for kitchen utencils.

The microwave, 3 burner stove and oven work impeccably and the oven has baked blueberry muffins for our camping group every year for the last several years, not to mention tons of hashbrowns, meatloaves, etc.

How did you miss the closet and drawers when you first stepped in? But there they are waiting for your favorite racing jackets, headphones, binoculars, etc.

The bathroom is small, but who uses it anyway? Mainly, we are camping so the porta-johns get used during the day, we use the free showers (who wouldn't, all the free hot water you can stand?) while out at the track. But, the large medicine cabinet has a mirror for fixing your face or hair, the toilet works, the sink works, there are towel bars and a towel rack. Storage under the sink for cleaning supplies, paper, etc. The shower? Well, we have never used it so I can't say if it works or not. It is primarily used for storing flags, flag poles, folding chairs, etc.

Wow! The fridge is cold and operates on 110 volt or propane and has lots of room inside and a freezer to boot. It is a turquoise blue, but hey, some NASCAR memorbilia will cover it up just fine if the color bothers you.

The speakers for the stereo work, so you can crank up your favorite CD's and enjoy the day!

The bench style booth folds down to reveal a bed large enough for 2 adults, 3 small children or a small adult and 3 small children (we have used it all ways) & it is comfortable. Over the top of this is cabinets for more storage, and a large window for sleeping with a breeze over you.

Across from this booth is a smaller setting with 2 single comfy booth type chairs and smaller table. Sit here and watch television, eat, send postcards to friends, etc. Or, lay it down and you have a single bed ready to sleep in. More storage and windows overhead.

Up in the front is the roomy and comfortable queen sized bed over cab with windows at each end, large sky vent, cabinets and its own lighting. Close off the curtain and you can read without bothering the rest of the sleepers!

The curtains are all Tony Stewart fabric, the decor is eclectic but the mechanics of this rig are awesome!

Look up at the ceiling and the first thing you notice is there are no leaks or water spots anywhere. Thats right, unlike other rigs this old, this baby is leak free even around the skylights!

The large Coleman overhead A/C will blow you out searching for a jacket. I know, I suffer from Asthma and during the heat of the day, must be inside where it is cooler, this is a wonderful unit.

Hate waking up to the desert chill? You don't have to here! There is a heater and it works. Great for small children in the morning.

The great thing about the paint job is you can fit it to your unique team, family logo, favorite pastime, etc. It is a constant work in progress, so don't be afraid to run to the craft store, buy some paint and brushes and start your own designs.

New to this years theme is the checkered flag door, the driver quotes, the PIR logo and more. Its fun and if you don't mind being gawked at, talked about, pointed at and laughed about...it is for sale!

$2800 and its yours! For this price, we will throw in the McCullogh quiet generator and newer auxiliary and main batteries. You can't beat this price for a week at the races staying dry in the rain (and it will rain), getting out of the blowing dust (and the dust will blow), hiding away for awhile from all the activities.

It has aprx. 92K miles on her, starts up, runs great, just passed emissions with flying colors yesterday and is tagged until 5/2007. Still has decent tread on all the tires, has a rear tow hitch and a front boat hitch for launching boats. Extra enclosed storage on top.

Need more pictures? Email me, we have plenty: www.harleydumper@yahoo.com
www.oilman85037@yahoo.com

So, why are we selling? We are moving to Washington and sadly at this time, there are no NASCAR tracks, so we are letting our home away from home go for a great price and hoping you will send us pictures of the fun you will now enjoy!

Missing My Quilting

For those of you that aren't quilters, this post will probably go right over the top of your head, unless of course you have some other passion or hobby that you haven't been able to do for awhile and are craving it like a woman craves chocolate.

WOW! The home is looking more and more empty with the exception of the extra bedroom that is almost filled to capacity with moving boxes. It has been a huge step of faith and trust in God over the last three years that He knows what He has in our future. If it wasn't for the Lord above, I think I would have thrown in the towel a few weeks ago.

Each box I carefully stack in the room brings me to facing the three large plastic see-thru bins that hold my quilting supplies & each time I pass one I want to open it and start a project, but I know if I do the rest of the world will be placed on hold and right now I can't afford to do that.

To much to do right now, so I must let it go for now!

Moving, such an exciting time and yet, I would sometimes like to sit down and pull every hair out of my head. What do you pack? When do you pack? Where do you put stuff while you are selling your home?

Then of course there are the legal issues we are dealing with that are still up in the air.

God Bless!

Doing what needs to be done!

Sometimes in life we must jump up and move & be spontaneous and know that God is showing us the way and we must be strong enough to follow His guidance.

In two weeks, my husband of 25 years will be moving to another state. The dream we have shared for 20 years will become reality for him. There is fear as we were supposed to go as a team & we chose the town on God's guidance and a place to raise grandchildren in safety away from the big fear city of Phoenix.

Now, my husband will be leaving to take on a new job & I will be remaining behind with 3 grandchildren to fight a lawsuit the other grandmother has brought upon me to keep the grandchildren here.

I ask simply for prayers from those of you reading this. Prayers that this other grandmothers heart will be softened as never before. Prayers that the mother of these children can stand on her own and say to her...I want my children to be where they are safe! Prayer for my own strenth that I can go on by myself with my Fibromyalgia and other ailments.

I take this as just another test of my strenght and determination.

Thank you for praying!

Sitting in the Spiders Web

I am always being asked with the life I lead how do I find time to make the quilts I do. I can always come up with answers, but I think the best answer is this:

'It is better to quilt than to sit like a fly in the spiders web waiting to be swallowed!'

I suffer from anxiety attacks mainly brought on over the last few years of having a job that deals with other people in crisis, my sons incarcerations, my son and daughter-in-laws drug abuse. Each crisis I believe brought me closer to where I am now. Now, I am not saying that I am not partially responsible, because I am. I don't eat properly, don't rest when I should, don't exercise enough, etc.

However, when your children are arrested (though they aren't children any longer), unless you absolutely just don't care, it does something to you internally. Then when you deal with people constantly wanting to harm themselves, others or are being harmed, that takes your body to another level. So, over the years, my adrenaline rushes and late night work hours have taken a hard toll on my body.

But, I was to busy saying I can get through this, I am strong, don't show any emotions, get back on the horse and ride, deplete my savings to worry about myself. No, I was to busy trying to help others and failed to notice the creeping pounds one at a time, failed to notice or give creedence to the wince of pain here and there until one day I felt that my entire body had a tooth ache, my heart pounded all the time, I broke out in sweats for no reason and I just wanted to run.

Adrenaline depletion one of my doctors said. Stress another one said. Fibromyalgia, anxiety disorder, mood disorder and arthritis. It isn't hitting 50 that got me down, it was running my body over and over again into that brick wall with the ups and downs and hard crashes along the way. It was pretending to be strong, pretending to not need sleep and now, the white flag of surrender waves at me.

A person that shunned as much as an aspirin for pain is now taking pain killers, anti-depression drugs, NSAIDS. I am taking more medication at 50 years old than my grandmother was taking when she died at 94. Not to mention I am in much worse shape than she was.

So, when people ask me about my quilting, I tell them it is a obsession. Because it has become one, but I believe it is that way because my body needs to relax and yet my hands need to be busy. My mind needs to be creative and yet calm and when I quilt, I am doing both. I am calming my mind and yet I am being creative.

Life is what we make of it. It is about giving to others, but not until we take away everything from ourselves. It is about having a pedicure once in awhile because hot pink toe nails are funky and cool. It is about spending $50 of the Christmas savings on a massage. It is about unplugging the phones and sleeping in until noon.

It is not about trying to be superwoman. Learn from me...take care of yourselves and if you ever need to talk, Email me, I am always willing to listen.

Does anyone care about the children?

I was just wondering if anyone really cares about these little babies that grandparents get custody of and try to raise them in love while their own hearts break? Does anyone know how far reaching this epidemic has become? It is beyond the person at church or your neighbor, it is in the millions according to AARP. Millions of children living with grandparents trying to cling to hope there is more to life than being filthy, hungry, left alone. Does anyone care? Is anyone listening?

Everyday I go to work and work 12 hours. I come home to find my husband has gotten my granddaughter off to school on the bus, did the dishes and is preparing himself for work. I get up the next one that needs to go to school and off she goes. Kiss husband good-bye while he goes and works 10 hours a day.

Get 2nd child on bus, feed 3rd child, do laundry, clean and pick up the house, lay on the couch and lightly doze (after all, in 2 hours the 2nd one will be back from school). Get up, fix lunch for 2 and we all go lay down for a nap. Sleep 3 hours, get up fix dinner and pick up 1st child from the bus. Fix her a snack, sit down and do homework with her & give her a bath. Grandpa will get the other 2 when he gets home.

Take my shower, get dressed for work, walk children to neighbors, call husband on way to work give him update on what needs to be done when he gets home and it starts over. Grandpa comes home, picks up kids, fixes them dinner, feeds all the animals, waters the lawn, bathes 2, gets 3 ready for and to bed. Another day has come and gone.

Their smiles, hugs and love keeps us going. How exciting is it to sit and watch one child teach the others what she learned in school that day? How fun is it to take them for an ice cream cone and watch them smile at the simple things like it melting. Kissing a boo boo, putting on a band aid, picking out new clothes on Ebay, going to the local sports warehouse and playing games and racing up and down the stairs (well, they ride the escalator).

On my days off spending time in the back yard planting flowers and then lying in the grass a week later to see if they are growing yet. Telling them for the thousanth time there are no monsters like their parents told them to keep them confined to their beds. Seeing them try a new food or write a new word.

Does anyone care about the grandparents and what we go through? The money we spend to prevent these children from going back to the same environment? Legislators don't care, attorneys and judges don't care and if you see the latest CPS statitistics on kids that are being killed by their own parents or friends, NO ONE CARES!!

There are no special funds for those of us when we need to hire a top gun to battle our case in court. There is only closing out retirement accounts, selling heirlooms and furniture and trusting God will provide, because people don't care about things that don't affect them.

But doesn't it? When these children are with their parents and in school and failing, isn't that affecting your own childs abilities? When you tax dollars are paying for more teachers for these children and services, doesn't that affect you?

Moms day? Sleep, get up whenever, watch television all day (because she has quit two jobs and been fired from one for domestic violence...doesn't that affect you? She was working for a childcare and we want to know who is watching our children). Maybe bathe the other child she has, feed it and sleep some more. She doesn't care, but she has a new man in her life, she loves him she tells it to the children all day when she sees them.

She is not the stability these children need to follow their dreams of being a fire fighter and a singer, she won't see they finish their homework, they will go to school where their innocence is shattered by living in an area where parents and teachers don't care if their children survive.

If I thought it would help me, I would stand on the side of the road holding up a sign that stated.."Please help, need money for legal fees to save the lives of my grandchildren."

Maybe you will read this and pass on helping me out with a few dollars or maybe more if you can afford it. But the next time you hear about a child that is murdered by a parent or friend of a parent or foster parent, you will think of me, you will think about this blog and you will wonder if that was one of my 4 grandchildren and what would or could have happened if I had the money for an attorney to save them.

If you can't send money, you don't want to send money. Please, say a prayer for the safety of 3 children who are wise beyond their young years because of the life they lived before we took over their care.

Remember: 'To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.' ****PLEASE, MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE'S LIFE TODAY!****

Grandmother Raising Grandchildren needs Legal Funds

Were you raised by your grandparents due to your parents divorce, death, mental illness or other incapacity? Do you know that your grandparents loved you, supported you through tough times and never once looked back? Are you thankful for the love they gave you during your lifetime?

Are you a parent who due to incarceration, drugs or something else had to give your children to your parents to raise and know they did a great job of it and you are thankful for them being there when you couldn't be?

Are you a grandparent who is raising or raised your grandchildren when their own parents either couldn't or wouldn't?

Perhaps your a mental health professional, legal professional, judge, lawyer, police officer, fire fighter, case worker who has seen a family of children thrive because their grandparents stepped up to take care of them.

If you are any of the above or even if you just want to help others, I am in desparate need of financial assistance for a legal fund to save my 3 beautiful grandchildren from harms way

I took custody when they were removed from another grandparents home due to lack of facilities, filth, lack of water. I have had permanent custody for almost 3 years. In that time, these children have been caught up on their immunizations, had numerous dental procedures done to repair damage to their rotting teeth, had yearly check ups, much needed surgeries and 2 are now in school doing very well.

Now, the other grandmother and mother are suing me for custody and they have an attorney and I don't. I can't afford one.

If you want to help, please send money order or check to;
Jean Kester
P.O. Box 1652
Avondale, AZ 85323

Mark legal fund on it.

Thank you & I will keep posting the latest news.

Magic Wands and Mayhem

Have you ever dreamed of having a magic wand to wave over the world and making everything okay? You would take away everyone's pain, ease the shoulders of those heavily burdened, have everyone get along? Then, you awoke and realized life isn't about magic wands, just mayhem?

Well, not really mayhem I guess, but have you ever sat down and really wondered why some people want to make other people miserable? Why anyone would want to interfere in someone's elses life without reason? Why some people must hurt and manipulate and lie to make themselves feel better?

Well, that is the situation I find myself in at this time. A battle that I didn't want to take on, a battle that will cost me thousands of dollars to fight and fight I will because I must with a person who doesn't appear to be happy in her own life so over the last five years has made it her goal to make mine and my families life as miserable as possible.

My son's mother-in-law from the very first day I met her has disliked me and perhaps even hated me. The first time I was introduced to her, she walked right past me, didn't acknowledge I was in the room, got in her vehicle and left. Future DIL told me that was just the way her mom was at times. Oh, and that makes it right??

DIL got pregnant and mom would stay away for weeks and then call and get DIL worked up and upset over something in her own life and this went on and on. The day of the wedding as the couple is being counseled by the minister (her uncle), mother can be heard telling other family members how much she hates my son, that he doesn't belong in their family because he is not native american, etc. Other family members told her that many in their family weren't native americans & that shouldn't be the issue.

It was heart breaking for the couple & even more heart breaking when the 2 sisters told the man who was supposed to walk the bride down the aisle that he wasn't welcome at the wedding. The bride didn't find out until after the wedding was over.

Thus, it began and has been for almost 6 years, this battle with DIL family. No matter how I have tried to include them in things for the children, no matter how I gave DIL & son a home, Cinderellas step-mother and 2 sisters have always been there ripping and shredding where they can until at last DIL is filing for divorce & the battle is just beginning.

Break it down to the fact that I am raising DIL & sons 3 precious children and they have lived in my home since birth & I have had custody for almost 3 years now through the court, mom walked out on them a year ago this week permanently & dad was sent to prison 7 months ago or so.

DIL and son were living together, DIL working, son staying at home taking care of 4th child I don't have custody of when son was arrested on probation violation. DIL calls hysterical, confused, upset. She would have moved to the ends of the earth with him, she supports him, she will be there for him & here we are.

DIL has not paid sons fine as promised, took over $3000 of a tax return and blew it, has been pregnant by another man and lost the baby, is living with another man in her mothers home & almost a week ago appeared in court with her mother trying to get custody of the children back.

I went to court to see if my husband and I could leave the state with the children...realize DIL's family doesn't see kids all summer with exception of 2 birthdays, mothers day & a 4 hour visit.
I get in court and there the family is and they have an attorney with them to serve me visitation paperwork for grandma who now all of sudden has decided she must see these children to teach them her culture, her customs, to visit and call them.

PEOPLE, she hasn't done this since they were born! She see's them when she wants which is rarely and never has she once just called to tell them she cares. She hasn't sat up with them when they were sick or held them while they were going under for surgery.

I am numbed by this whole thing and just amazed that one woman can cause my life to be MAYHEM!!

Ebay Blogging

Well, Ebay is now the latest to try blogging and I must say that is where I have been the past few days, busy blogging over there. There is more incentive over there. The first thing is they are offering prize money for the blogs if yours is chosen and the second thing is you actually get feedback from the people that read your blog which is more than I can say for my postings here.

While I have been encouraged from others on blogger to keep working at it, I will get people to read mine soon, somedays I feel I am just writing my own diary that no one peeks at.

Today, I received a thank you card and three pictures from a family in NY that I sent a quilt to since they were flooded out of their home. These people are police dispatchers, but the pictures of their young son with his happy smile all curled under one of my quilts was the best thing I could have seen today. It was exciting!

Here are some more quilts I am selling for charity...$35 each or $$65 for both. They are 45" x 47 1/2" and can be used for a wall, your feet while watching television, perhaps a family member in a nursing home, a baby, use your imagination, these are really nice and have some hand applique on one of them.

I originally was asking $60 each knowing all the work I have put into these, but recently had several people tell me on my Ebay blog that while they are worth it, I should lower the price because people want more of a bargain instead of handmade quality. Is that true? In a world filled with drive-in wedding chapels, drive in churches, drive-thru food and banking and yet few drive-in theaters anymore where a family can go and take their own food and sit in the back of the truck and watch movies....I would hope that people out there would want something someone has put their time and heart into.

What do you think? I'd be interested in your opionions.

Asking for Prayers

I believe in prayer and I definitely believe in my God above and all that He has brought me through. He has a plan in my life and I feel it so strongly moving and gently pushing me forward.

My husband and I are raising our 3 grandchildren and we need prayer. If you are Christian, Jewish, Buddist, etc. please pray for us. Here is the situation.

Father is in prison for a probation violation. He calls children weekly, writes to them several times weekly and they see him 1-2 times per month. They miss and love their daddy & they know why he is in prison and they tell him all the time he should have been good.

Mom just picked up and left last year with baby #4. Mom does Meth, has spent over $7000 since December on Meth (sure not her babies), rarely calls, only sees them when it can make her points (birthdays, holidays, etc.) was pregnant with another mans child (supposedly lost child), sleeps all the time, doesn't work and brings baby #4 to us as much as she can. We don't mind that part.

We have permanent legal guardianship and now my husband has the possibility of getting a job in a small quiet town in Washington where we can live with our windows open without fear of a break in, or walk down the street without fear of being shot (live in Phoenix now).

We have to go to court to get permission to take children with us out of state. They have lived with us since birth, other grandmother has nothing to do with them at all. I don't think the judge will have a problem, but I do believe mom and grandmother will try to pull something.

Pray this is Gods will and it will be done!

God Bless and Thank you all.

A thank you from Broome County New York

For those of you reading my blog who might question my sincerity or honesty (I can't blame you in todays era), I simply ask you to read the following post that was posted to 911care.com, a website that helps dispatchers out:

From: Pandich, James C. Sent: Tuesday, September 05, 2006 6:53 PM
To: kevin@pstc911.com
Subject: Ranny Jean the Quilting Dispatcher
Hello Kevin –
Greetings once again from Broome County NY! Just wanted to drop you a quick note and let you know that we just received 5 beautiful quilts from Jean Kester from Avondale AZ. She made these quilts for five children of our dispatchers affected by flooding in June and July of this year that the members of your group have shown such generous support to. Once again we would like to thank you and everyone involved for the support, kindness and generosity that all of you have shown.
God Bless!
Jim PandichAnd the Broome County NY 911 Center

These are real people that I quilt for with families and loved ones that need our help, that need YOUR help. Won't you show these dispatchers and their families that you care? Won't you take the time to send me your pocket change for a day or week?

I am not asking you to send me a million dollars, a thousand dollars, a hundred or even fifty dollars, I am asking you to send me your pocket change so I can help these people in need.
If you don't want to do that, do as one anonymous donor did recently and pick a few of the things I need below, order them and mail them to me.

Here is a list from a company called Connecting Threads:

1.) 20908 Neutral Thread 19.90 (Set)
2.) 20909 Pastel Thread 7.95 (2) (Set)
3.) 20910 Bright Thread 15.90 (Set)
4.) 20911 Country Thread 23.85 (Set)
5.) 20912 Varigated Thread 23.90 (Set)
6.) 80932 Need to Know Card 5.95
7.)80595 Triangle Measurement Card 5.00
8.)81035 Perfect Binding Card 5.95
9.)35537 Quick Quilts for Holidays 9.98
10.) 44243 French Braid Quilts 17.46

All you need to do is go to www.connectingthreads.com and place an order and have it mailed to me at:Jean Kester P.O. Box 1652 Avondale, AZ 85323. It is really that easy. I don't get your credit card information, all I get is the order you placed and hopefully you will include your name and at least city and start so I can thank you on this blog.

**Don't forget, I have several quilts for sale, contact me for further details.

Fall Leaves Quilts

Looking at these quilts, you can almost feel the dew in the air as the seasons quickly change from summer to fall. The quilts are

47 1/2" x 45" and are a varied combination of the pumpkin/sunflower pattern. I have made 2 of these quilts. the first is the one shown with the pumpkin/squash and it is hand appliqued with gold thread that makes the veins stand out and shine. The second quilt is almost identical with the exception that the applique on it is machined with green thread. These are perfect quilts for a lap quilt or as a wall hanging.

I had these quilts listed in Ebay for a charity auction for the National Autism Center, however, no one bid on them though I had plenty of lookers.

I am asking $60 per quilt or $100 for both with 15% of the proceeds going to Autism research.

You can feel safe ordering these by going through paypal to complete the deal.

If you have any further questions, please contact me so I can share my quilting ministry with you. I believe while I may not be world famous, my quilts are made with love and blessed by above.

Playing in the rain

How many times as children did we splash in the puddles after the rain and watch as it fell from inside? Well, yesterday once again it poured on our side of town in Phoenix (I say this because my husband was working in another area that got no rain at all).

Instead of keeping my grandchildren inside, I allowed them to go out in the pouring rain and play and that is what they did. They played old games like red light/green light and duck,duck goose, the laughed, they chased each other and when the rain was done they walked through the puddles splashing and laughing.

Sometimes, we keep children indoors for our convenience, because it is easier on us, but today, I want to challenge anyone reading this, let your inner child go and let your children play in the rain. Today, they are happy, loved and still talking about the rain and wanting to know if it will rain today.

Of course, you do need to not let them out if it is a thunder storm, but a gentle cool rain is just what most kids need.

God Bless you all!

Frustrated with Blogger

I am not a computer geek, nerd or specialist. My idea of a good day is turn on my computer and it works. Therefore I get a bit testy when people do upgrades in the name of improvements of the system and it turns into a disaster.

My opinion only on the new BETA version of blogger, but so far I am not one bit impressed with any of it. I make quilts for a living & to give to charity. I ask people to adopt a quilt so someone else can have it and what good is my blog if I can't get pictures to post to it? Hello, someone out there take notice I am not a happy camper right now!

I am not going to change browers or add a ton of new stuff to my computer to be able to do in BETA what I was doing without any problems in the older version of blogger.

So, excuse my while I scream at the moon because this is making me crazy!!

Frustrated with Blogger

I am not a computer geek, nerd or specialist. My idea of a good day is turn on my computer and it works. Therefore I get a bit testy when people do upgrades in the name of improvements of the system and it turns into a disaster.

My opinion only on the new BETA version of blogger, but so far I am not one bit impressed with any of it. I make quilts for a living & to give to charity. I ask people to adopt a quilt so someone else can have it and what good is my blog if I can't get pictures to post to it? Hello, someone out there take notice I am not a happy camper right now!

I am not going to change browers or add a ton of new stuff to my computer to be able to do in BETA what I was doing without any problems in the older version of blogger.

Horse Property for Sale, West Phoenix, under $200K

We're a little bit city and a whole lotta country and we are selling our little corner of the world for under $200,000, which is practically unheard of in this area for horse property. You read this right, horse property in the Phoenix area for under $200,000. We are asking $180,000 for our home and property.

You get horse property (you can keep up to 4 horses), while all the time having the amenities most people want from the city (sidewalks, driveways,soon to be 2 brand new daycare facilities within 1 mile of the house, grocery store, brand new Target & Ross stores, Starbucks, Taco Bell, Banks, etc. all within 3 miles of the house). Yet, you have the peacefulness of living in the country with the best neighbors anyone has ever had since Sheriff Taylor lived in Mayberry.

Front yard is grass with 2 mature shade trees (non-desert type trees). Carport holds 5 vehicles at the same time so you don't have to park in the street. Large RV gate and RV cement pad in the back yard. Block fence (6 foot tall). Back yard has an animal pen, large oval grassy area border by concrete curbing (plenty of room for the trampoline and swing set). Large above ground garden area with sprinkler system set on timer.

Mans dream of a work shop (16' x 20'), 2 story (has loft storage), gambrel roofed complete with indoor outdoor carpet, hot air roof vent, cabinets, storage, electric and telephone. Two large flourescent lights to keep you working after you enjoy the beautiful sunsets.Water softener system (enclosed in a Rubbermaid Storage Center), hot water valve on the outside of the house, bug zapper, sun screens all around, security/motion lighting, white security front screen door, custom light fixture in front. Not to mention we just planted 11 shade/fruit trees, shrubs and vines in the yard.

Step inside this beautifully kept 3 bedroom, 2 bath, over 1600 square foot manufactured home and you will immediately be drawn to the custom faux painted entertainment center that looks like it has been covered in rock and men...it will hold a 44" flat screen television. Small portable lights make the perfect lighting to watch television by in the evenings.

Ceiling fans in all rooms, fresh semi-gloss colored walls (not a white wall to be found). Custom designed coat closet with large shelving spaces & adjustable coat rack.The dining/family room has a bay window, built in china hutch with leading glass door inserts, telephone hook up, cable and computer hook ups. Could actually be walled off and make it another bedroom or private office.

Kitchen ladies...is unbelievable. Bay window sitting area for dining, bay window above kitchen sink for keeping a watchful eye on the little ones while they play in the back yard, or just lookig at the Estrella Mountains from the windows. Slide in, ceramic cook top, self-cleaning Maytag oven, a builting in 2 shelf Maytag microwave and a 3 rack Maytag whisper quiet dishwasher.The sink has a pewter high necked faucet and sprayer. There are 2 pantries and an extra large appliance garage inside one of the pantries that hold lots of things. There are a total of 22 cabinets, 14 drawers and the 2 pantries. There is a nice ceramic tile edged kitchen island and 9 recessed lights in the ceiling for a brighter kitchen when it is dark outside.

Step inside the laundry room and you think you have gone to heaven. It has room for a stand up freezer and it has more cabinets. There are 2 cabinets above the washer and dryer with a hanger bar for clothes between them. On the opposite wall, there are 12 cabinets (6 top and 6 lower) with a counter that is over 7' in length. A great place for folding clothes or setting plants.There is also a custom built-in shoe rack for placing shoes when you come in from the back yard.The hall has custom covered wall socket plates and switch plates and a new 3 light fixture for more light. The closet has floor to ceiling shelves for lots of storage space.

The first bedroom is perfect for children with its bright dual Disney colored walls and angel print border. It has a custom shelf over the window for collectibles you don't want children to reach and also a rod for curtains. The wall plates and sockets are all custom designed covers and the closet has 4 sliding doors to access its large inside.

The second bedroom is smaller (currently being used as a craft room) and has custom designed closet shelfing, drawers and clothes racks. It looks out upon the backyard.The bathroom has new hardware and custom designed and molded butterfly pull knobs, an over the toilet shelf that is anchored to the wall and has glass doors with butterflys on them as well as they cover the toilet seat.

The master bedroom has a walk-in closet, 2 long windows and cathedral ceilings. This is a huge master bedroom (currently houses a king sized 4 poster bed, 2 night stands, a 9 drawer chest, a 6 drawer chest, antique desk, cedar chest and curio cabinet) and you still have lots of room to move around in.The master bath has double sinks, a large garden tub with 2 windows to bring light into the room and a large shower with dual molded seats. There is a tall storage cabinet as well as cabinets and drawers under the bathroom sinks.

The home is wired and plumbed for dual Master Cool swamp coolers but we have never gotten around to putting them in.The area right now is all 1/3 - 1 acre manufactured home sites with horses. They will be building homes in the area soon. We have beautiful views of the Estrella Mountains, peaceful sunrises and sunsets and have never as much as had a leaf stolen off our trees, it is a great neighborhood and quiet.

We receive city services (police, fire, EMS, trash and street sweeping), the water is via a private water company and the home is set-up on a septic system. Taxes are aprx. $1300 per year.I haven't had an appraisel for a few years, but I am willing to bet the home and land appraise for at least $190,000, which I feel is low.

If you would like to see this home, know someone who might be interested, it is by appointment only and would need to be arranged through my realtor. NO AGENTS PLEASE!NASCAR FANS...WE ARE LESS THAN 3 MILES FROM PHOENIX INTERNATIONAL RACEWAY!Contact me at rannyjeanshaven@yahoo.com if you think you want to stop by and take a look.

I Still Need Help

Okay people out in the Blogger community, you can't tell me that not one person has been reading my posts and if you can't, then you need to tell me why no one has yet sent me their pocket change? Come on people, you expect 911 operators to help you when you need help, where is there help when the call goes out?

Check your pockets, right now and count your change. What do have in there? A few dollars maybe, some bills & some change (don't worry about the bills, just send the change). Better yet, I challenge you to save up your pocket change for one week and send it to me.

Dispatchers care, can you say the same thing?

Fall Leaves Quilt for Sale, Magnificent Quilt!

I have given thought today that many of you who read this (if anyone really does), may be a bit hesitant to send me money or purchase a quilt from me not knowing if I am for real or not. Let me assure you I am more genuine than most vehicles today that say they are made in the USA!

So, here are some pictures of my latest project, a beautiful 45" X 47 1/2" fall leaves quilt with hand appliqued pumpkins and squash done in clear thread and tiny gold stitches on the pumpkin to give it color and rich tone.The colors are rich wine, oranges, yellows and I used a delicate vine/leaf pattern for the stitching of the top to the back. The back is a heavy stiffer type black fabric that makes an excellent quilt back for a lap quilt or a wall hanging. Trust me the pictures don't do this quilt justice. Neither does the Blogger BETA right now that won't download pics. Check it out under Ebay & go to oilman85037 as the seller.

I just listed it in EBay under fall leaves quilt and I am asking for a minimum bid of $60 with 15% of the profit going to the Autism Society and the remainder back into making more quilts for dispatchers. Use paypal and know your purchase is protected.I believe you will find my quilts of very high quality and workmanship and I pray over each quilt as I make them knowing just the right person is going to buy them. So, go on over to Ebay and check out the rest of the pictures.

Financial Backing, A Blessing

This is a quilting blog, but in reality it is so much more, it is a piece of who I am.This week, I have been working on knotting the last quilt for the New York dispatchers and next week, I will send them out via UPS. Never knowing where I will get the extra money from, it appears as a blessing when least expected.

Yesterday, in the mail was a $100 check for my quilting cause. It was a major blessing. Also with it was a very nice polo shirt with the companies logo on it & since this company also benefits other dispatchers, I will wear it proudly.

I also want to recognize and thank the anonymous donor who provided me with the following supplies: 2 scissor leashes/2 rotary cutter holders/2 needle cases/big eyed needles/quilt kit (for future money making purposes) & a quilting book. May God bless you for reaching out to someone in need without thought of a tax write off. I can guarantee everyone, this money & the supplies go right back into my quilts.My mom even blessed me this week with an entire box of fabric in an assortment of colors all ranging from 1-2 1/2 yards in a variety of colors and patterns and that saves me money.

I have friends who have tried to get their local papers to pick up my story and even my local papers, but no one seems interested in publishing a story about a dispatcher that makes quilts to help others. Yet our local paper will print front page stories on old ladies in the red hat club getting their nails done. Go Figure!!

If you are a publisher, editor, writer or know someone in these fields, please contact me for my story, I feel it really needs to get out about the work I am doing to help those dispatchers and police officers in need.

Hate to say it, but even my own department doesn't support me, but there will be those that do & they will be blessed!Have a blessed day and remember: 'God is always at work around us.' Sometimes, we just don't realize it or see it because we are too busy living in our own little world!