Magic Wands and Mayhem

Have you ever dreamed of having a magic wand to wave over the world and making everything okay? You would take away everyone's pain, ease the shoulders of those heavily burdened, have everyone get along? Then, you awoke and realized life isn't about magic wands, just mayhem?

Well, not really mayhem I guess, but have you ever sat down and really wondered why some people want to make other people miserable? Why anyone would want to interfere in someone's elses life without reason? Why some people must hurt and manipulate and lie to make themselves feel better?

Well, that is the situation I find myself in at this time. A battle that I didn't want to take on, a battle that will cost me thousands of dollars to fight and fight I will because I must with a person who doesn't appear to be happy in her own life so over the last five years has made it her goal to make mine and my families life as miserable as possible.

My son's mother-in-law from the very first day I met her has disliked me and perhaps even hated me. The first time I was introduced to her, she walked right past me, didn't acknowledge I was in the room, got in her vehicle and left. Future DIL told me that was just the way her mom was at times. Oh, and that makes it right??

DIL got pregnant and mom would stay away for weeks and then call and get DIL worked up and upset over something in her own life and this went on and on. The day of the wedding as the couple is being counseled by the minister (her uncle), mother can be heard telling other family members how much she hates my son, that he doesn't belong in their family because he is not native american, etc. Other family members told her that many in their family weren't native americans & that shouldn't be the issue.

It was heart breaking for the couple & even more heart breaking when the 2 sisters told the man who was supposed to walk the bride down the aisle that he wasn't welcome at the wedding. The bride didn't find out until after the wedding was over.

Thus, it began and has been for almost 6 years, this battle with DIL family. No matter how I have tried to include them in things for the children, no matter how I gave DIL & son a home, Cinderellas step-mother and 2 sisters have always been there ripping and shredding where they can until at last DIL is filing for divorce & the battle is just beginning.

Break it down to the fact that I am raising DIL & sons 3 precious children and they have lived in my home since birth & I have had custody for almost 3 years now through the court, mom walked out on them a year ago this week permanently & dad was sent to prison 7 months ago or so.

DIL and son were living together, DIL working, son staying at home taking care of 4th child I don't have custody of when son was arrested on probation violation. DIL calls hysterical, confused, upset. She would have moved to the ends of the earth with him, she supports him, she will be there for him & here we are.

DIL has not paid sons fine as promised, took over $3000 of a tax return and blew it, has been pregnant by another man and lost the baby, is living with another man in her mothers home & almost a week ago appeared in court with her mother trying to get custody of the children back.

I went to court to see if my husband and I could leave the state with the children...realize DIL's family doesn't see kids all summer with exception of 2 birthdays, mothers day & a 4 hour visit.
I get in court and there the family is and they have an attorney with them to serve me visitation paperwork for grandma who now all of sudden has decided she must see these children to teach them her culture, her customs, to visit and call them.

PEOPLE, she hasn't done this since they were born! She see's them when she wants which is rarely and never has she once just called to tell them she cares. She hasn't sat up with them when they were sick or held them while they were going under for surgery.

I am numbed by this whole thing and just amazed that one woman can cause my life to be MAYHEM!!