Sunday, December 03, 2006

Depression Sucks!

I feel at times that my life and emotions are tied to a spinner in a game. You know the type I am talking about...little piece of cardboard, plastic arrow attached to it and numerous challenges...go forward 3, jump backwards 2, go to dreamland, whatever.

Mine reads today emotionally stable, today emotional roller coaster, today calm/lunatic. I hate having depression and more, I wish I knew when to expect an emotional attack. One minute I am fine and the next I want to scream as loud as I can.

I can't take meds right now due to all the drugs I am taking for pain associated with my foot injury and people who call me and I am upset can't handle it they think I should be happy all the time.

Why?? Would you be happy if you couldn't bathe yourself or wash your own hair? Would you be happy if you couldn't get outside of your own home without help? If all the electric scooters at WalMart were taken by people who's only excuse for using one is they are to damn fat to walk and you are pushing yourself around in a wheelchair? If people sais they would come over to help and never showed up?

No, you would be a bit bummed, but take those things and give them to someone with depression and now the equation is a bit more up and down. You try to smile and hold it together however, without warning you are crying about something stupid.

Well, thanks for letter me rant!

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